I love to talk to people on the airplane. Since I was in college I've always looked forward to sitting by someone new and having a chat. On a trip to DC I met a wonderful older couple who have become such great friends through the years. They wrote me on my mission, send gifts to my girls on their birthdays, and had me over to their house after just a few hour conversation on the plane.
Anyway, my most recent plane trip was no exception and I had the wonderful chance to speak with a man from Pakistan, who works at the University of Utah. Our conversation started as he noticed that I was reading the book A Thousand Splendid Suns, by Khaled Hosseini. It turns out that he has been living in the states for over 20 years and is a sociologist who studies the social trends of Pakistani women, marriages, and family life. I asked him about a million questions about life in his home country and found out some interesting stuff, which I wanted to share here.
-He said that 49% of Pakistani marriages are between first cousins.
-Almost all marriages are arranged, but when two people fall in love, they can sometimes convince their parents to arrange a "love marriage" for them to enter in.
-The Pakistani people prize virtue. When a woman in the family has an adulterous relationship they try to keep it a secret, but if the truth comes out, 7% of the people will arrange with the police to conduct an "honor killing" where the woman is killed (generally poisoned) to preserve the family's honor.
-He said that almost half of the adult population is illiterate
-The village people typically live in huts with their families around them, whereas city dwellers live in rented apartments wherever they can get work
-Pakistan experiences a lot of 'brain drain' where educated people leave the country in search of better opportunities
-Mormons have a lot in common with Muslims- we share common moral values of chastity, avoid alcohol and drugs, pray and study the scriptures, and value family relationships.
-He said that the divorce rate in Pakistan is about 3% even with the majority of marriages being arranged. He believes that this has both good and bad effects- good in that couples try to resolve problems rather than looking for the first chance of escape, but bad in that women often are forced to remain in abusive situations to preserve their social status.
-A divorced woman is at the bottom of the social status totem pole as she is deemed dirty and no one will marry her again. It is very difficult for these women to find work and maintain themselves.
-He said that the population of Pakistan is about half that of the US, while their landmass is only 803,940 square km compared to our landmass of 9,629,091 square km (about 8% the size of the US).
-He said that there are four major provincial languages spoken in Pakistan, and one national language, but there are many more dialects used in different villages.
-He said that Pakistan used to be composed of two land masses that were separated by India, but in the 1970s Pakistan was consolidated to the country it is today and Bangladesh was created.
Of course I forgot to ask his name, but am grateful for the chance we had to talk and for his gracious response to all of my questions. His personal story was fascinating too, the most difficult part being that in order to get a visa as a permanent resident, he had to return to Pakistan for three years, leaving behind his wife and three children, who he couldn't visit and who couldn't visit him. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been and it just shows what a sacrifice immigrants make to create a better life for their children.
8 comments:
I love your posts! They are so interesting, and I can't believe that you remembered all that that man told you - did you take notes or something? ;) And do you like the book? I haven't been able to get myself to read it since I really liked and hated Kite Runner at the same time. Seriously loving your blog, Jord!
We look forward to reading your blogs in the future. Thanks for the comment! This will be a great way for us to stay in touch with you! Mandy & Chad
Wow Jord, way to make the most of an oppertunity. I can't even fathom having a baby who would enable you to read a book while flying! You're one lucky mamma.
So glad to see you finally started a blog!!! I looked up Sociology professors at UofU and thought it may be Bam Dev Sharda. Anywho very interesting.
I work with a guy from Afghanistan and it is so interesting to learn about his culture. His dad has 3 wives, 2 of which he hardly knows because his dad took them on in his latter years when my friend was older. The two younger families of his fathers, who are his half siblings, he hardly knows even though they live in the house he grew up in. He said you take on more wives instead of committing adultery. His exact words were "When you get bored or your first wife or they get old". Very interesting!
So interesting Becky- the guy I talked to told me about polygamous marriages and it is true that some guys have two separate families that don't even know about each other. Thanks for the comments girls!
I still think it is sort of weird but brave of you to talk to people on planes, I try to avoid it at all costs and usually make R sit next to the stranger danger. Interesting Pakistan facts however!
Jord: thanks for the interesting post. I don't think I've ever met a Pakistani. You had a very interesting chat with him. It appears you've learned the great secret of being a conversationalist - to ask the other person questions about them. ree ree
I learned all of my conversational skills from you pops! I do love asking questions and am amazed by all that people are usually willing to talk about- if they're just asked.
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