God is aware

Summer is rolling on. I can't believe it is the last day of June.

A few weeks ago the kids and I took our spring break trip to Arizona, on a 3 month delay. It was fun to see a few friends, although we weren't able to see everyone like we would have done due to the corona restrictions. It was amazing to have a change of scenery and get out of town and to be with people that I love so much. I didn't realize how much we all needed it. It was also great to just spend time with the kids in vacation mode- rather than in homeschool or mom-keeping-people-motivated mode. To just play with them and talk to them and be on vacation together. We even saw the Grand Canyon (smoky due to a big fire) on the drive home. It was a great reset for all of us.

Upon coming home though I have realized how my needs for connection have not been fully met lately and how I feel the deficit. I am a people person and I need many inputs of interactions with different people throughout the day. So after months of quarantine and social distancing I can see how my mind and heart have felt the loss. I know there are still limitations that we are living under with corona but this week it has been nice to think of ways to really connect with more people in my daily life as well as reach out to people that I have missed interacting with. It has started to restore my spirit.

I also had the double whammy of spraining my ankle at the beginning of summer which just made life harder. It was hard to take care of my kids and do my regular chores and then I was also limited from exercise which is such a therapeutic release from me. I also didn't realize how not being able to run over a six week period was a pull on my mental and emotional energy and left me feeling depleted.

So this is the scene for the last few days- the realization of my need to be physically active and to have more inputs of social interaction with a greater variety of people. I was feeling so heavy and worn down by it all and didn't really even know how to come out of it. In talking with friends and family members I can see that this is sort of the condition many people feel right now- just worn down by the restrictions on freedom and the lack of certainty for the future. It is heavy and not going away any time soon.

I continued to just do what I knew to do. Read my scriptures. Pray. Serve others. Try and keep on keeping on. But things still felt heavy and hard. Until this morning. Last night as I prayed I pleaded again for Heavenly Father to help me know that He was aware of me and to alleviate some of the burden. Then this morning as I ate breakfast the Friend magazine was on the counter so I opened it up and read. I turned to a simple story of a little girl who had had a bad day and was telling her Dad about her frustrations. He sang her a song and reminded her that music can be a lift to our souls on a bad day. She went and played a song on the piano and felt her heart renewed.

This little message was a direct answer for me.

I got dressed to hike and went up the Y trail in weather that is unusually wet and cold for the season. I hadn't hiked it for over a month. I turned on some of my favorite uplifting music (The Lamb of God by Rob Gardner) and just started to climb. As I listened to this music about the Savior and took one step at a time higher and higher into the clouds my whole spirit was revived. Just like the rain that is nourishing the earth I could feel that music nourishing and refreshing my spirit as I again was pointed to Jesus and felt His peace enter into every corner of my heart through the Holy Ghost.  I could see the sweeping vista of our valley and was reminded that Heavenly Father really does see the whole picture. He stands at the top of the mountain and has the whole view and because He can see it all I can trust in Him. I can trust Him.

I know this might not mean much but it meant everything to me today. God is aware of us during this time of trial and testing and in our unique circumstances. He does see and know what we are going through. He will send help and bring us peace because He did that for me today. He can and will do that for you.

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who sent Jesus to the earth. To make up for all that is unfair and hard and difficult about mortality. To set things right- eternally as well as in the here and now. I love the Savior. I need Him the most and am grateful for the tangible, immediate and soul filling peace He imparted to me today.