Bobbie and Dick

Today I wanted to write about two lovely people in my life.

Bobbie and Dick.

More than 16 years ago, I left my family in Orem, Utah to fly to Washington D.C. to work as an intern for a semester of college. I was 20 years old and the time and looking forward to my dream come true of working/living/breathing in life in our nation's capitol.

I boarded the airplane with puffy red eyes and a tear streaked face (this was in the days non-travelers could come to the gate and bid you farewell) after saying goodbye to my family for a few months and sat by a nice looking retired couple.

Immediately, the man noticed that I had been crying and asked me if I was all right. I said yes, and explained that I was leaving to be an intern for a semester in D.C. He asked me where I would be working and listened as I talked about my plans for those few months. He was so kind and interested and I was grateful to have someone to talk to. His wife was sitting near the window reading a book but as the conversation progressed she listened and asked her own questions with an earnest kindness.

We ended up talking almost the whole way across the country and that flight opened up a friendship that has been a blessing in my life ever since. 

Dick and Bobbie were on the flight coming back from visiting their granddaughter in New Mexico, where she was attending college. They said she was about my age, and shared about their family of four children and their grandchildren at the time. 

I asked them about their careers- Dick had been an art teacher and Bobbie taught as well as worked with equestrian horses. In fact, they shared that they lived on some property in Pennsylvania where they boarded horses and had a training ground. I remember asking them about their lives growing up on the east coast, their families, and their interests and hobbies. It was such a wonderful conversation that kept me from wallowing in self pity on what could have been a long and sad flight. They asked all about my interests and college experience and had such encouraging things to share about DC and the surrounding area. I remember thinking what a blessing it was to sit by such a nice couple and feel of their compassion and interest in a no-name twenty something girl leaving home for the first time. 

As we were getting close to land, Dick handed me a slip of paper with his email address and phone number and told me to let them know if I ever needed anything while I was in town. 

And then we got off of the plane, parted ways and said goodbye. 

That could have been it.

But oh what a mercy that it wasn't.

I can't remember the details exactly, but I do remember sending Dick an email to thank both he and Bobbie for being so kind to me on the plane and for their encouragement. He responded within days and asked me how things were going. I wrote back about my job and roommates and thus began a little correspondence with Bobbie and Dick. I remember writing to them every week or so, and every time I wrote they wrote back so the communication continued.

I don't remember how the invitation happened (please say I didn't invite myself!) but after a few weeks I had a lovely invitation for me and a few of my friends from the program to come and spend the weekend at their farmhouse in Pennsylvania. 

One of those friends was Jake.

So we planned the getaway and a few weeks later, me, my two roommates Megan and Whitney, Jake and another guy named Brad from our program set out in Jake's car to spend a weekend with Bobbie and Dick.

We had such a lovely time.

We arrived on Friday night and Bobbie greeted us with the most wonderful homemade dinner. I don't remember the whole menu, but I do remember that she served us the most delicious salmon filet that I'd ever had. We spent the evening eating, listening to music, and visiting with them in their living room. They had two rooms all set up for us upstairs- the guys in one room and us girls in another. They had taken such care to get things ready for us and I was again amazed at their generosity of heart to an almost stranger and her friends who were complete strangers to them. I couldn't believe they would invite us to stay with them and then that they would show us such hospitality. 

Saturday morning Bobbie had a lovely breakfast spread- everything was homemade and delicious and then we walked around their property. It was beautiful and for desert kids we were enthralled with the greenery and the trees. Bobbie showed us the stables and then had her friend Margaret give us a show with one of the horses while we relaxed on some chairs and watched. We left for the afternoon to look around the town and then returned to another amazing dinner, company and enjoyable evening visiting with Bobbie and Dick and learning more about them.

Their home was so lovely and adorned with so many interesting things. Pieces of Dick's artwork, photos of their children, books and keepsakes from their years together, rugs and lamps and blankets weaved, curated and collected with care. I just loved being in their home and seeing the place that they created together. 

(( I must inject here some behind the scenes facts. I actually invited both Jake and the other guy Brad because they were the two boys I was most interested in on our program. And this was a pivotal weekend that turned the tide in Jake's favor. Watching him interact with Bobbie and Dick, seeing him ask them questions, hearing him express thanks for their kindness all while the other kid did none of the above raised him high in my book and set him solidly at the top of my male interest list for the semester. ))

We got off early on Sunday morning, all while thanking Bobbie and Dick over and over for their kindness and hospitality and made our way back to DC.

And from that weekend in the fall of 2001, I never again saw Bobbie and Dick in person until July of 2016. 

Fifteen years.

But somehow the time and distance didn't matter.

I attribute that solidly to Bobbie and Dick and their willingness to let me into their hearts and lives for the intervening weeks, months and years and to continually check in on me, on Jake, on our children and on our life.  

We continued our email correspondence.

While in DC I received my mission call to serve an LDS full time mission to Valencia, Venezuela. 

I wrote about it to Bobbie and Dick. They wrote back and were thrilled for me. 

And they wrote me during my entire 18 month mission.

They are not LDS, but love God and I appreciated their support so much.

When I got home I wrote to them as I started dating, got engaged to and was set to marry Jake the following May. 

They wrote back, expressed their joy, sent us a beautiful wind chime as a wedding present. 

I wrote them as Jake and I attended graduate school and when I got pregnant with Lauren.

They wrote back encouraging words and Bobbie sent us a hand knit white sweater for Lauren.

And our email correspondence continued. 

Mostly Bobbie would check in every few months for an update and I would write back (sometimes much too tardily) with the latest report.

When each of our next children were born Bobbie had a hand knit item in the mail for them. 

And from their births on, Bobbie and Dick have sent each of our children a card, and now a gift that has arrived days early, in time for them to open on their birthdays.

Every child. 

Every year. 

Several years ago Bobbie and Dick moved to northern Idaho to be closer to their children. 

And finally, last year the kids and I were able to drive to their home and spend another weekend with this dear couple that our children had known for years through letters and gifts, but had never met in person. 

It was such a wonderful gift to be with them again.

Although their are in a new location now- the way their house is set up, Bobbie's attention to our accommodations and comfort, Dick's stories and artwork, the amazing food and their love and concern were just as I remembered them from 15 years earlier. 

Jake loved Bobbie and Dick too. He fondly remembered our weekend at their house, and was so touched by how they remembered each of our children on their birthdays. That meant so much to him. He often called them my adopted grandparents and he loved hearing the updates on their lives.

Bobbie and Dick were immediate in expressing their concern for Jake's diagnosis and checked in regularly throughout his illness, sending prayers, thoughts, kindness and love from afar. We knew of their heartbreak as Jake started to decline and I felt buoyed up by their support after his death. 

They were just there, checking in, sending kindness and showing support.

I hope the uneven nature of this relationship is obvious. Bobbie and Dick feel like grandparents to me- continually giving and serving and helping, expecting (and often getting) so little in return.

I have not sent them birthday cards. Or gifts. Ever.

But I also hope that this story highlights what lovely people they are to give so selflessly to a girl who was not in their family, or their neighbor, or in their church community or school.

I was a stranger sitting next to them on an airplane.

They are examples of how showing love, taking an interest, giving service and bestowing kindness to one person can be a force for good in their lives.

Forever.

I wish I could say with words how much this sweet couple mean to me. They have been a constant in years where change was the norm and life was growing and moving and developing rapidly. 

I recently sent Bobbie a picture of Ellie and Tommy holding the birthday presents that she gave them and she wrote back saying, "You are all so special and beloved by us. We are grateful for the "years ago" happening on that plane with your sitting by Dick and then coming to the farm. Truly blessings and meant to be."

I love Bobbie and Dick and am grateful for the miracle of their friendship that I also feel was "truly blessings and meant to be."