Many ways to love

I have a dear friend named Susan who did something selfless for me.

She and I served together for three years in our stake (an geographic region of people who attend worship services together) and became good friends in the process.

I love Susan and appreciate the many creative gifts she has, especially her ability to quilt.

Shortly after Jake died, she contacted me and said that she would like to make a quilt out of some of his shirts. I was so grateful for her offer, and as we prepared to move and I sorted through his clothing I chose several of his shirts that had meaning to me. He wore one in a family picture. He loved to go golfing in another. He wore one to church and to the temple. He humored me by wearing one that was sort of unusual. Each held a memory of him and the day before we moved away I took them in a plastic sack to Susan's house.

And then I totally forgot about them.

With the hustle and bustle of moving and getting settled, Ada's broken wrist, kids starting school and then consuming grief, the idea of the shirts and the quilt just left my mind.

But Susan did not forget and was busy at work.

She visited me this last fall (2017) and showed me a picture of the quilt top. I was so surprised and thrilled to see it.



And it is Beautiful. Stunning. Lovely in every way.

I had handed her a very random assortment of shirts. They did not match, or even coordinate and it must have been a trick to figure out how to make them blend together. She told me she looked at different quilting ideas for weeks until she saw a 4 square pattern that she thought would work.

She had to cut the shirts into 2 inch squares.

Two inches.



She carefully cut out elements on the shirts that she knew I would appreciate. A Y from the golf shirt and quail from the unusual one.

And then she sewed each of those squares to another.



Her genius was in using the ombre grey scale as the coordinating fabric and in placing the squares in an ombre pattern. It is modern, classic and brings balance to the random assortment of shirt squares.

When the kids and I returned to Phoenix in December Susan was sewing night and day to get it done. In the rush of the Christmas season she was quilting non-stop for me.  She quilted the entire thing and along with her kind daughter and another dear friend Jeri, finished the binding by hand. She texted me the night before we left and said it was ready.

When I pulled up to her house on my way out of town I was so excited to pick it up.

And as she got it out and showed it to me I just started to weep. I looked over the quilt and saw all the time, effort and love that she put into making it and I couldn't believe that she would do that for me. I could sense how much she wanted to soothe my aching heart by giving me a piece of Jake- by preserving these shirts as memories- by making them comforting to me.  It was a true labor of love.

I have it on my bed and am so grateful for this visual and comforting reminder of my sweet Jacob that I see and use and appreciate every day. It is a treasure to me.

As I hugged Susan and thanked her for making it she said something important. She said,"I love through quilting."

I have thought a lot about that statement and think that it contains so much truth. We all love in different ways. We each have gifts, abilities, talents, proclivities that enable us to show love to those around us in ways that are individual and personal to us.

And as I considered this truth even more I can see evidences of the many ways that we have been loved as a family and as individuals in these trying years.  We have been loved through cooking and baking. We have been loved through hairstyles. We have been loved through organization. We have been loved through babysitting. We have been loved through vacations. We have been loved through flowers. We have been loved through accounting, legal and financial consultations. We have been loved through empathetic conversations. We have been loved through decorating. We have been loved through invitations. We have been loved through prayer.

I am so grateful for our God who, by design, gave us each different gifts. "For all have not every ^agift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God."

I am grateful to know that to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God. I am grateful that these gifts are different. I am grateful that we can develop our unique gifts and use them to bless the people around us. I can love others in ways that are unique to me and be loved by people who love in ways that are unique to them.

If you're ever around and want to see the quilt I'd love to show it to you.

Thank you Susan for loving me through quilting.

It is a treasured gift.