Running red lights

People.

Sometimes the fun never ends around here.

Sunday, March 8 at 1:40 am I woke up to a shaking motion in our bed. Once I turned on the light I could see that Jake was having a seizure. This was new territory for me.

My immediate reaction was to panic, but a moment after I felt an overwhelming sense of calm. It came so clearly to my mind that I needed to stay calm and help Jake to be calm. I sat stroking his arm and calmly telling him to breathe, and within moments his seizure had subsided.

I panicked in the few moments that followed, feeling that I was going to pass out and not knowing what to do, when he started seizing a second time.

Again, I felt a sense of calm that overcame me and once the seizure had passed it was clear in my mind the steps I needed to take.

I called a good friend to come over with the kids, as well as 911 to come and transport us to the hospital.

The paramedics came and I explained his condition and that we needed to go to St. Joe's where he is being treated.

We made the drive downtown. Contrary to what you see on tv, they did not let me sit in the back of the ambulance with Jake, but rather I rode in front with the driver.

We got to the hospital and his seizures had subsided with the medication they gave him. He was still pretty out of it and was speaking rather incoherently.

Our previous bishop and good friend followed the ambulance to the hospital and stayed with us until noon the next day when Jake was stable and back to himself.

Our current bishop also came down and helped to give Jake a blessing. That was definitely a turning point of the night. Jake had been pretty lethargic and incoherent and not moving his right side, but after the blessing was administered he came back moving his right side and speaking more clearly.

He was admitted to the hospital and taken up to the neuro ICU around 7:00 am. We stayed there all day as they ran another MRI and did an EEG.

The MRI showed no changes since his procedure on the 23rd, but did show an increase in swelling (edema) in the frontal lobe where the laser ablation occurred. Jake had tapered off of his steroid early and the swelling must have been to much so it triggered the onset of the seizure.

Seizures are a common side effect of the surgery, brain tumors, and brain operations and his oncologist said today she is surprised he hasn't had one before now.

We stayed Sunday night and he was released on Monday morning after doing a few walks around the hall. He was a little unsteady on his feet, but has been regaining his coordination and as of tonight is stable in his movements.

Our wonderful friend Gina and her kids stayed with our girls all day on Sunday, and then our friend Stephanie came to help them and spent the night while we were in the hospital. She was here when we got home on Monday about 11:30 am.

Jake took a nap from 1:00-8:00 pm, slept for 9 hours at night and had another 3 hour nap this afternoon. Sleep seems to be restoring his functions as well and he wakes up with an increase in his faculties every time.

He will now take a seizure medication for the foreseeable future and the doctor doesn't anticipate him having any more seizures in the future.

Jake's brother Matt and his wife Jessica are able to stay with us this week and have been so very helpful. Jake and I are both so tired and recovering from some long nights, and they have been more than kind to help with our kids and the upkeep of our home. I'm so grateful they live here in town.

It was good to speak to his oncologist today and get a better sense that this seizure was a normal, treatable occurrence and that this is not the beginning of the end.

Jake will still start wearing the Optune scalp device at the end of the month and is going to take his next round of chemo starting tonight.

Until then we are grateful to have each other, our kids and another day.

Sometimes I feel like I am stretched so thin and any more occurrences will push me past my breaking point.

But I did not break, and rather felt through that scary night the presence, calm and comfort that only come from Him. I am grateful for His mercy to me and for the help He sent that got me through the night.

I highlighted this scripture on Saturday night before I went to bed and it has been with me through the last few days. It comes from the Book of Mormon, Alma chapter 12 verse 34:

"Therefore, whosoever repenteth, and hardeneth not his heart, he (or she) shall have claim on mercy through mine Only Begotten Son..."