Compassion for all

Many months ago my mother in law made an observation that has stuck with me.

She explained how last year, when she and my father in law went back home after Jacob's surgery, they were immediately surrounded by the members of their ward, extended family, neighbors, colleagues, and friends. Each of these people expressed their love for Jacob and his parents, their concern over his health status, and their inclusion of him in their fasting and prayers. 

It seemed that everywhere they went they found people asking how Jacob was doing, encouraging them with faith filled stories, and assuring them of their love and support.

After a time of this, however, she realized that there was a whole section of people- her friends, her neighbors, her family members, her ward members- who were suffering pains of equal magnitude as they worried about their children but couldn't talk about it or didn't receive the same level of support because the infliction of their loved one is a stigmatized condition. 

A mental illness. A drug or alcohol addiction. Infidelity. Gender orientation. Apostasy. A pornography addiction, to name a few.

She realized that there are many, many people who suffer in silence and never feel the loving support of the community around them, but rather bear their burden alone. 

Jacob and I have recognized the same thing in our position. I know that I can post on Faceb*ok or my blog and instantly have hundreds of people rally around in support and feel nothing but compassion for me, for Jake and for our family. 

I don't know the answer. 

But I do know this- in this mortal experience we will all have trials. Difficulties. Afflictions. These may be brought about by our own choices, by sin, by the acts of others, by disease, by living in a fallen world. 

So why make it any harder on ourselves or on each other than it already is? We will all suffer. We will all be tested. We all have things to learn. 

One of the great lessons that I seem to be learning over and over again is that the Savior's love and capacity to understand is infinite. He is there for each of us. He will never look away or turn aside from us in our suffering and His judgment, though swift and sure, is also full of grace and mercy for those who come to Him in humility. 

Let us ache for those who ache. Let us love those who are the least lovable. Let us express our love and concern and interest in those who are afflicted by stigmatized conditions. Let us feel compassion for anyone who suffers, no matter the cause, because suffering alone is penance enough. 

One of the young men Jacob had the privilege of working with years ago has started a blog about his own experience with mental illness and suicide. I so appreciate his openness in talking about these issues and know that he his turning his suffering outward in hopes of helping others avoid the darkness he experienced. And there is nothing I admire more than someone who can take a horrible experience and turn it into good for the benefit someone else.